Healing your life, when you see your path not going the way you want it.

Good afternoon, When you are feeling down, and have no way to express how you are feeling. Where does your head go and  how do you get yourself out of your funk? I don't know about you, but I go workout, or I have to eat something chocolate. Lindt is my favorite, especially the hollow santas and then it would be the easter bunnies. I sometimes think that the flavor is going to be different and change how I feel about them, but every year its the same flavor and I still love them!  As a little kid, I felt it was hard to express how I feel about things. I was always afraid what people would think about me. Sometimes people would judge right away how I felt. Before I could tell them how I'm actually feeling about a situation, people would jump and tell me what I should be feeling . For so many my brain would always agree what they said. Unfortunately, I still today struggle on how to express my feelings and be confidant on what I am feeling. The last couple of years, I been worki...

When you hear that a new year is coming, what is the one thing that pops in your head when you hear that? For me, I do a reminder check and see if I have accomplished one of my goals that I have set for myself. Some of the goals I completed and some I wasn't even close to reaching, but that is okay for not reaching that goal. When I see that I haven't reached one of my goals, I think to myself and ponder, why did I not achieve that important goal? We always have a reason why we didn't achieve that goal. I was told by coaches, the reason why you don't reach that goal is because you're making excuses for yourself and that means that you let the team down.  In my younger days, I played a lot of sports. One sport that I started in when I was younger was wrestling. This sport taught me that I had different muscles that I never used before. In middle school, I was always the "HEAVY WEIGHTER". I hated that because I thought to myself, "Why do I have to be so...

If you could think of any holiday, what would be? The majority of people would choose Christmas. For me, I would choose Thanksgiving. This holiday is a good one because you don't have to worry about what you're eating; you can throw those calories out of the window. You don't have worry about if you got the wrong present for that someone. You get to sit with your family and friends and talk about life, or you collaborate with each other when Travis Kelcie is going to propose Miss Taylor Swift. That always keeps a conversation going. The best part of this day was doing something traditional and making more memories.  When I was younger my parents would host Thanksgiving. I was so excited to see my extended family. It was nice to have more people to play with. The kids would go downstairs and play, and grownups would be upstairs talking bull. It was good time. When dinner was ready my parents would say," Dinner is ready. Can we have everyone in the kitchen?" This wa...

In my last blog, I talked about something really personal about me. I know it's hard to read things like this, but I don't want to hide from people anymore. I want people to see the real me not this pretend person anymore. For so many years, I felt that I had hide who I was and wasn't able to be me. My depression now is getting better, but I do have days that it's very hard to do anything. I wish I could say my suicidality was one and done, but unfortunately, I've had a couple of dark clouds. My depression is a work in progress and I hopeful that I can get this under control. I know that I have a lot of support from people, so please reach out to me and help me love myself so I am able to live my life to the fullest.  Love you guys! Tim   

Thank you very much for reading my last blog. I'm sorry that was a long one, but I wanted to share something that means a lot to me. Me being this vulnerable makes me feel a little scared because I don't like letting others see my vulnerability, but I know that people who are reading this are genuine and really care about me and making sure I'm doing okay. I see the world a little differently than everyone else. It takes me courage and strength to start my day. Without having those qualities, I don't know if I would be here today sharing this with you.  Five years ago, I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I never thought that I would ever get diagnosed with this. I had a normal childhood. Nothing too extreme for us. So I was surprised when I got the call from the doctor and telling me that, "You have severe anxiety and depression. Let's start taking this medication to help you." I remember hanging up the phone and started crying. I kind of ignored ...

I hope you guys tried that little exercise that I said in my last blog. I did that exercise with my oldest this morning and he loves feeling those special words about him. My heart wants me to bring you in and share with you what has happened in last couple of months of my life. Imagine waking up and you received some news that is very hard to swallow. When your done with that news, you immediately want to tell your spouse or a friend. You both look at each other and your mouth just drops wide open, and you start hugging each other because you don't know what to do with that news. Well unfortunately for me this news struck me like a bullet leaving a gun.  My family is not that big, we only have four us in our family. I have mother who always see the good in other people. I have a brother who lives his life to the fullest and I had a dad who worshipped his family and do anything for them. Unfortunately, I lost my dad to Graft vs Host disease, it came from when he was diagnosed with ...