Happy New Year!

When you hear that a new year is coming, what is the one thing that pops in your head when you hear that? For me, I do a reminder check and see if I have accomplished one of my goals that I have set for myself. Some of the goals I completed and some I wasn't even close to reaching, but that is okay for not reaching that goal. When I see that I haven't reached one of my goals, I think to myself and ponder, why did I not achieve that important goal? We always have a reason why we didn't achieve that goal. I was told by coaches, the reason why you don't reach that goal is because you're making excuses for yourself and that means that you let the team down. 

In my younger days, I played a lot of sports. One sport that I started in when I was younger was wrestling. This sport taught me that I had different muscles that I never used before. In middle school, I was always the "HEAVY WEIGHTER". I hated that because I thought to myself, "Why do I have to be so fat?" It was my 8th grade year, and it was wrestling season and the coaches kept calling my mom to ask her, " Is Tim going out for wrestling?" I told her, " I don't want too because I don't to be the heavyweighter on the team." My mom hands me the phone and coach tell me, "To not be the heavy weightier you have to be under certain weight. I know you will do great this year." So, I agreed to do it my 8th grade year. I actually had a great year, and I was captain that year as well. This was great way end my middle school career.  

8th grade was done, and my new adventure of high school had started. I was so excited to have a whole new beginning a new year and new goal for me. The first couple weeks went by, and I was hearing the announcement go on and I heard," Wrestling tryouts are happening this week." I looked at myself and said," Nope, that was in the past, I'm done with that." When the bell rang, and I walk out of the door and see the wrestling coach looking for me and I tried my hardest to not have him find me. He was trying find guys to try out for wrestling. Unfortunately, he got me and said," Hey you wrestled for your middle school, and you did really well. Why don't you come and tryout for the team?" All those memories of feeling "the heavy weightier" came back in my head.  I told the coach, "I'm already in a sport, I'm sorry." But that did not stop him asking. I finally caved in, and I tried out and that was the worst mistake of my life.

I made the team, and I was not the heavy weightier on the team, but I was in weight class where you could never yoyo. We had to weigh ourselves after every practice and if we were over, we would have to run or go in the sauna to shed that pound away. There was one match that we had, and I was told by our coaches, "Please keep your weight before weighing in. We don't want to have forfeit your match." I was so hungry, and I just got done running around the lake. I made the decision to go get a sandwich, and it was the best feeling ever. After I was done eating, I remembered that I was going to be in trouble for eating. It was weighed and I was over by 1 pound, and my coaches yelled at me and said, "What f*** happened? You made weight earlier today. Explain this to me?" I told him, "I'm sorry I got really hungry, and I got a sandwich, I'm sorry." They were so mad at me and told me, "How dumb are you to do that. We have to forfeit your match because you ate. There is 1 hour until the match. I want you to do whatever it takes to get the pound off." So, I went back to wrestling room and ran with sweatpants on and saw if I could barf up my meal.

The match was here, and it was weighed in again. It was my turn, and I could see the coaches just looking at me. I stepped on the scale and fortunately, I made weight. The excitement in my coaches' eyes were so evil because I literally hurt my body to please someone else. I quit wrestling my sophomore year and never looked back. Today I still struggle with my weight because I have the trauma of those people telling me that I'm not good enough. My goal every that I say is that I want to be healthier and be happy with my body. Thats why this goal is very hard for me to achieve because I was losing weight for wrong reason.

I know this one was a long one, but you thank you again for being so nice with this. So, when you set your goal, make sure they are for you and not doing it for someone else. You only live once and if you're setting a goal for someone else, you're going to miss how amazing you are.

Thanks,

Tim M 



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